First Laugh Page 6

  Rodin’s office phone to get us out of class, we would not have had time to pull this off.”

  After they handed Lavar his cut, Marquis gave Kareem $200 to add to his $350 to pay the water bill. Kareem would repay the money the next day when he returned to the bank to withdraw the rest of the money he deposited. The three of them emerged from the bathroom and knew that they had forged an alliance that no one could undermine.

  As the school day progressed, Kareem could not believe that he was walking around with 550 stolen dollars in his pocket. When he jokingly suggested to Marquis to rob a bank, he never thought he would rob one himself. Was it robbery or just a ruse? Why was trickery a crime? Kareem thought. If people unknowingly hand over their possessions, they should be locked up for their stupidity. Matters were made worse; Kareem now knew that even teenagers could pull that crime off. He had become confident. Too confident.

  During his ride home, Kareem wondered how he’d explain to Jean-Mary how he obtained the cash. That didn’t matter as much as keeping the water on. Kareem would not take no for an answer, either. For the first time, he planned to disrespect Jean-Mary if she scoffed and refused to take the money.

  ***

  It turned out to be an early start for Dre, who had decided to skip school and sell drugs. He shared a corner down 17th and Jefferson Streets. He was doing what everyone else in the hood did to get by. But wait. He didn’t struggle. His parents took very good care of him. They cushioned him financially, and gave him supportive love and attention. However, he was determined to be a bad boy. Instead of succumbing to the comfort of his Andorra neighborhood, he preferred to envelop himself in a ghetto where it was wise to remove your car battery at night.

  After chillen in the mid-spring air and getting rid of $200 worth of crack, Dre was approached by Ice. Ice had received the street moniker for the ice that had froze his ear lobes, neck and fingers. He had stroked Dre’s jealousy bone with all of the bling and Dre saw him as a dollar sign. Dre wanted to rise and shine, too, and he was ready to do what it took to get there. He had scripted his drug life out and planned to be much richer, bigger and more ruthless that Ice ever was.

  “What’s up, Dre?” Ice asked and shook Dre’s hand.

  “I am chillen, man. Doin’ me.” Dre was nonchalant about the encounter.

  “Oh yeah? Holla at me in my car.”

  Without hesitation, Dre moved to see what Ice had to offer. There was no other reason that Ice could have wanted him in the car. The deal had better be good, though. They entered the cherry-red BMW and pulled off with Jada Kiss quietly playing in the background.

  ***

  “Mama, I’m home,” Kareem yelled out and put a smile on her face.

  “Boy, what has gotten into you?” Jean-Mary asked through laughter as Kareem did a clown-like dance.

  “Well, for starters, I’ll be going to the Penn Relay’s this year. I qualified for three events. The four by 200, 100-meter dash and the 200 hurdles.”

  Jean-Mary gave Kareem a high five. “That’s good. Now what’s the bad news?”

  “It’s not bad at all. Remember my motor cycle jacket I had bought on the streets from that crack head for $75?”

  “Yes,” she replied puzzled.

  “Well, I sold it on Wayne Avenue to Black for $550. I told him that my dad had bought it for $1,200 down Miami. He wanted to show off in front of these girls so badly that he pulled out a wad of cash and paid for it.” Kareem then pulled out the money and fanned himself.

  “Didn’t I tell you that I would handle it?” Jean-Mary asked in a resonant tone. She was pissed off.

  “Mama, I am not trying to be insolent, but know that if you do not take this money, I am going to skip school and go to pay this bill. There’s no way that we’re going to be in this house without water.”

  “There will be water. We’re going to run a line from next door.”

  “Please don’t do this to me, Mama,” Kareem said. He had no intentions to borrow water. The bill was being paid, simple as that.

  Kareem sat the money on Jean-Mary’s foldout table right next to her puzzle book and told her, “We are in this together. Them sorry kids of yours should be here for you, but they’re not here and have been missing for years. I hate to say this, but if you passed away, I would think about inviting them to your funeral.” Tears flowed down his face and then he continued. “Please take the money, and know that as long I am around, you will never be without.”

  Jean-Mary grabbed Kareem and gave him a much needed hug. “Thanks, grandson.”

  She was moved by Kareem’s comments, and was aware that her love for him was what made him feel that way about her. She believed that he hated her children. He didn’t even know them. They deserved his stoic regard and she couldn’t blame him. She released Kareem and he rushed to the bathroom and locked himself in.

  He washed his hands and face and then went to his room to complete his homework. Kareem could not concentrate, but as soon as he got into the homework his emotional turmoil disintegrated. He was fully aware that only hard work would take away his financial woes. An hour later, he had completed his homework and finally gathered the courage to go downstairs and face his grandmother. She had seen him cry. He was ashamed, but at least he did not lack emotion. Jean-Mary was in the kitchen, and to avoid seeing her, he walked to the vestibule and shrieked, “See you when I get home from work,” as he walked out the door.

  “Okey-dokey,” Jean-Mary yelled from the kitchen.

  Kareem walked into his job and thought that he needed to get out of there. How could he smile in the face of a man that he had robbed. He wanted to get fired. When he was settled in, he photocopied the composition book of the store’s earnings. He then began to stock the shelves with bottled sodas before he knocked an entire case onto the floor. The loud crash startled the people in the store and Kim ran over to that section.

  Kim found the area disheveled and he was pissed. Without a concern for Kareem’s well being, Kim fretfully asked, “I hope you can pay for these sodas?” in broken English, despite his 20 years in America. His lack of concern made Kareem more at peace with his theft.

  “No, Kim. It was an accident,” Kareem answered as if he was afraid to be fired.

  “Mistakes. No mistakes. You fired. Go home now,” Kim said, pointing to the door.

  Kareem walked around the neighborhood and thought about what he had done. He had stolen and that was wrong. But the theft felt morally right.

  Kareem returned home and joined Jean-Mary for dinner and their usual viewing of Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune. Barely exchanging dialogue with Jean-Mary,he went up to his room to study for his final exams. He did not have the nerve to tell Jean-Mary about being fired. With no job, his investment would have to grow without any other deposits. On Friday, he planned to withdraw the rest of his money out of the bank, and he would have $200 after he repaid Marquis.

  Before he fell asleep, he called Marquis to assure that he was fine and mentally sound after committing a crime. When Marquis answered the phone, Kareem said, “Mr. Gibson, this is Secret Service Agent McDonough.” Kareem knew that the Secret Service was responsible for investigating the sort of crimes that he and Marquis had committed earlier that day. He had read all about Enron in a Fortune Magazine article.

  “Imagine that! You’re crazy as shit,” Marquis said. He was scared to death that he would be caught, but he didn’t care, as long as the money was used for a good cause.

  “Relax, how did your mom appreciate the money?”

  “I didn’t tell her yet. I’ll probably give it to a family member to give to her. She would not understand where I got this money.”

  “I was laying here wondering how we could pull this off Saturday,” Kareem said. “I ain’t trying to risk being out of class.”

  “We,” Marquis replied. He was not interested in being an acolyte in this thievery cabal.

  “Man, don’t bitch up on me now. We can hit a bank in Philly with a different ID.”<
br />
  “Damn, you have more checks?” Marquis asked. He was a little interested.

  “No, I’ve yet to figure out how to get more. As soon as I come up with a plan, I will let you know.”

  “Well we could check a few mailboxes in the ‘burbs for checks.” Marquis had a plan.

  “Check the mailboxes, for what? I am lost.”

  “Listen, I once stumbled across one of my neighbor’s bills, which the mail man left in my mail box. When I put the bill in my neighbor’s box, I peeked inside. I know what checks look like, ‘cause my sorry ass dad had got a box.”

  “Well since you’re the expert, when should we start?” Kareem asked. He was convinced that it could work.

  “Don’t worry. Tomorrow after track practice, we will find what we need.”

  “That’s a bet. I hear my grandma coming upstairs, yo. Let me get at you in class tomorrow.”

  Kareem hung up the phone as Jean-Mary entered his room. She prayed with Kareem and then assured him that she would pay the water bill. He was glad that she had come around to listening to him. She kissed him on the forehead and then went down to the living room to catch her Law & Order reruns.

  Kareem lay in bed for an hour and was unable to sleep because of his woes—the very woes that forced him to rethink his situation. His dad had sacrificed his freedom to provide for him, but he was locked behind bars.

  Kareem had to perfect his craft because he could not afford the same results as his father. His entire life depended on how meticulous he was. There was no room for error. Jean-Mary was blessed with the money that he had given her, but Kareem lay in bed and thought that he could give her so much more. He also looked around his room and thought that he could do some improvements.

  First, he needed a TV. The fifteen inch black and white had to go. None of his friends in the suburbs had small TVs. They were fortunate. He could also get new carpet in his room and paint the walls. Hell, he could paint the walls and put carpet in every room of the house with new TVs. He had begun to wonder why hadn’t his dad fixed up his mother’s house, as opposed to buying a luxury car that did nothing more but attract bum-ass bitches. Kareem did want a car, though.

  If his plan worked, he would use a lot of money to remodel Jean-Mary’s home, get a car, get an apartment, and pay what was left of his college expenses after scholarships. He wanted to let Jean-Mary have the money that his dad had set aside for his college education.

  Kareem planned to make something out of his life, and making license plates in prison would not be it. He was about to partake of a much more sophisticated scheme. While it was not mentally challenging, it was risky, but arrest could be avoided. He had read about too many scandals in Newsweek and Time not to know that one should never take short cuts and always be on point.

  Chapter 16

  Friday after school, Kareem and Maquis set out to find what they needed. They walked along the route that they usual jogged for their 5-mile track practice. They had their book bags in hand and went mailbox to mailbox, feverishly looking for what they needed. They dumped anything in their bags that was remotely close to necessary for their next criminal stunt.

  Two miles into their search, Kareem was stressed. He had not found any checks and began to give up hope of finding any. In a mystified tone, Kareem remarked, “Marquis, this is lunacy. Why are we here?”

  “You a quitter. I didn’t think that was your type.”

  “I’m not, but there is no checks out here. We would be better off in the ghetto.”

  “What did you say? My hearing just failed me.” Marquis then casually held out a box that resembled the dimensions of a checkbook.

  “Is that it?” Kareem asked with a large smile on his face. “You better believe it.”

  “Who ooh!” Kareem jumped around yelling. “Let’s get out of here.”

  The two of them made their way back to the school grounds in time for the first late activities bus. They boarded the school bus to West Conshy and kept their adventure silent. They hopped on the R6 train and headed to Philadelphia. Neither of them could believe what they had done, nor what they were going to get into. They felt safe on the train and emptied their book bags to reveal what they had found.

  Kareem broke the ice. “I have a few credit cards inside there,” he said prosaically as he emptied his bag.

  “How do you know they’re credit cards inside the envelopes?” Marquis asked.

  “My mom gets them all the time. None of which she accepts. They always come in non-descriptive envelopes with no company name in the return address area. Besides, you can feel the cards.”

  “Well, I guess we can use them to buy shit and save our cash. How many do you have?”

  “Two for me and two for you.”

  Marquis respected that Kareem was ready to break things down fifty-fifty.

  “What else do you have in your bag besides the big grand prize?”

  “I have this envelop from the Social Security Administration. It may be useful news inside.”

  “That’s it. That’s nothing,” Kareem said haughtily and waved a hand in the air as to flag Marquis.

  “Boy, you have a lot to learn. SS numbers are the catalyst for identity theft. Where have you been?”

  Kareem sat quiet a moment and reflected on what he had learned about ID theft from the media. He realized that Maquis was on to something, and said, “You know what, you’re right. We are really about to make moves. The more the better. I need all the money that I can get.”

  The train pulled into the Market East Station and they both exited the train. They walked through the station and headed to the Wachovia Bank at 11th and Chestnut Streets. The two of them withdrew the remaining balances in their accounts. They were both confused at how easily the tellers just forked over the money. No wonder white-collar crime is so easy, Kareem thought.

  “I am telling you that this shit is too easy,” Marquis said.

  “I was thinking the same thing,” Kareem responded. “Listen to this. During the initial conversation when I heard about this game, they had deposited checks for $1,500 each. If we did that tomorrow, we’d have $3,000 off every new account versus a measly $800.”

  “Eight-hundred ain’t measly, but man, $1,500 is husky.”

  “Well, $3,000 it is. For now, here is the $200 I owe you. Let’s do some shopping.”

  The two of them jetted to the Gallery Mall. Kareem had money to shop recklessly, but he didn’t. He was waiting until his next big stunt. One the other hand, Marquis went to the very Strawbridge’s that once impressed Kareem and bought three Polo Ralph Lauren outfits. He had spent $250 and then decided that was enough splurging. He took his cue from Kareem, who was younger than him, but the ring leader.

  Chapter 17

  On Saturday, Kareem awoke and knew it was his big day. Today would make or break what he had been planning for days. He showered and shaved, and believed that his beard had grown. He wanted a beard to announce his manhood. And he was dressed for the part, too. There was no half-stepping when it came to $1,500. After he dressed, he joined Jean-Mary for breakfast. She looked at him in awe.

  “Boy, why are you going to work in that shirt?”

  “I’m not going to work. I was fired. I didn’t tell you?” he asked, just as shocked as her. “I’m going on “The Avenue” to look for a job,” Kareem responded matter-of-factly. He could not believe how freely he had just lied to the one person that he knew he could tell the truth. “I also want to buy a new sweat suit.”

  “Um,” Jean-Mary responded sarcastically. “I don’t know if it’s wise to go out shopping when you’ve just lost your job.”

  “No, I am going to use $50 from my savings to buy it from City Blue. On sale $50 bucks will be enough.”

  Jean-Mary then stuck her hand down her shirt. She groped around her chest and pulled out a wad of money from her coffer, and said, “Here take this. Buy yourself something nice.”

  “Granny, tell me that you paid the water bill.” Kareem
said frantically.

  “Of course. Do I need to explain where I got the cash from, father? After all, I am still the adult, sir.”

  “Don’t mock me today. It’s not too late for a nursing home,” Kareem said jokingly. “But, yes, I’d like to know.”

  “I re-mortgaged the house. That’s your whole $500 back, baby. And the whole house is about to be remodeled.”

  “That’s decent,” Kareem said and hugged her. “This is like a dream come true. I was just dreaming about that.”

  “Don’t get all mushy on me. Go enjoy yourself. Matter of fact, take the car.”

  Take the car alone, he thought. She must be drinking.

  “No problem. I’ll be careful and feed the meter. And I’ll wear my seat belt.” Kareem then swiftly left the house before she changed her mind.

  Behind the wheel of the Lexus, Kareem drove to the bank and thought what he would do with the extra $500, which he had chucked up as a loss. Spending it would be out of line. He had to explain this new cash flow he anticipated, but in the meantime, he had other tasks in mind.

  Kareem parked in the Cheltenham Mall parking lot and before getting out the car, he filled out two checks for $1,500 each. Certainly, he would draw suspicion if he deposited them both together, but just filling them out felt great.

  Kareem entered the mall and strolled into Wachovia Bank. He sat in the bank’s waiting area, tapping his finger and praying that he would leave the bank with some money. Who was he praying, too? God certainly didn’t approve of his actions. Just then, Catherine Rose walked over to him and escorted him to her desk.

  Catherine was a beautiful woman who looked twenty-five- ish. She had the face suitable for a Vogue Magazine cover. She went over the basic questions and he then handed her a school ID in the name of Eric Eagle. She typed away and Kareem stared at her uncontrollably. She was the epitome of beauty.

  She had noticed his persistent stare and asked him, “What are you staring at, Eric?”