First Laugh Page 7

  “Youth,” he responded boldly.

  After a flattered smile, she responded, “Youth? Don’t do that.” She actually found him equally attractive.

  “Don’t do what?” he asked coyly. You may have found the line corny, and a fake sense of attraction, but in truth, you know that you’re pretty.” Kareem had laid it on her. Had she been an ogress, he would have charmed her the same way. It was all a part of the con to get what he wanted.

  “Thanks, Eric,” she said and wished that she was not at work so that she could enjoy the day with him. Especially with his large deposit and seeming intelligence.

  Catherine handed Kareem his new account passbook and as she stood to deposit his check with the tellers, he asked, “Could you bring me $800 of that, please?”

  “No!” she responded with a wicked look on her face. It was twisted with anger. Her evil stare quickly turned into a bright smile. “Sure. Small or large bills?”

  He cracked a fond grin and then told her, “Large,” and gave her a sexy lick of the lips. He wanted her to indulge in the sexual undertone to his comment large. He hoped that she took the gesture as a sexual invitation.

  Within minutes, Cathy returned with his cash in a standard bank envelop and handed it to him.

  He asked, “Do I need to count this?”

  She smirked and sat at her desk. “I am a banker, I wouldn’t trust me.”

  “Point taken,” he said and counted the money. All new fresh bills and they smelled like it. He stuffed the money into his wallet and then stood.

  “Listen, here is my card,” Cathy said and jotted a number on the back. “My cell phone number is on the back in case you have an emergency banking issue that needs to be resolved.” She handed him the card and their hands touched.

  Cathy walked him to the door that led to the mall and held the door open for him. He walked through the door and he could not believe that he had just conned the hell out of Cathy. The problem was, she was actually very attractive and his type of woman. He wondered could he mix business with pleasure and made a note to run that by Marcus.

  In the Cheltenham Mall with $1,100 in his pocket, Kareem contemplated what to treat himself too. He had earned it, although Cheltenham Mall was no longer on his list of hot places to shop after reading GQ. His mindset was changing and there was not much that anyone could do about it. He was a boy from the ghetto developing the mindset of a NY socialite. Very lethal for two reasons: (a) people would begin to call him stuck up; and, (b) he would be forced to commit crime to feed his addiction to living like a millionaire.

  He did need fresh footwear, so he walked up to the Footlocker. He had the sales rep grab him a pair of wheat- colored Timberlands and black S. Carter Reeboks. At the counter, rather than use the cash that he had, he pulled out a credit card that he had purloined the day before. His hands were sweaty and he stared at the rep mysteriously as he handed him the card. The credit card was franked with the name David Darden. Kareem thought, Can I pass for a David Darden? Apparently, he could, because the register spat up a receipt and Kareem signed it: David Darden. He grabbed his bags and kindly strolled out the store with a powerful aura. He had done it again and loved it. He was OD-ing off adrenaline and decided to try it again.

  Kareem strolled up the mall and bought a pretzel from Auntie Annie’s. Just a young man out shopping without his parents. He then entered City Blue and picked up two Rocawear sweat suits and a Sean John denim set with a matching T-shirt. He wanted to get in and out of the store and off the radar quickly. There was no time to browse or try things on. Just see something and get it and go. At the counter, Kareem handed Abdul, a Moroccan-American, his credit card. Abdul asked for an ID, and Kareem looked puzzled. For what? Just run my shit, bitch, Kareem thought. Don’t piss me off.

  “I am in high school. I don’t have an ID, yet,” Kareem said and smiled. “My mom gave me this card.” It was a lie. A very white lie to compliment his white-collar crime.

  “Oh ok,” Abdul said and swiped the card.

  “He’s ok,” said a woman who was also of Moroccan descent. “He’s always in here.”

  “Sign here for me,” Abdul said and handed Kareem the receipt.

  Kareem gave him the receipt back and grabbed his bags. When he was outside of the store, Kareem looked at his watch and then rushed toward the exit. He was not pressed for time, but he wanted out of that mall. He was afraid of arrest, but that didn’t stop him from hopping in his car and heading to Walmart. He had purchased his personal things and now was time to buy something for the house.

  Walmart was a mile up Cheltenham Avenue and Kareem sped there. He was a daredevil and prepared for the consequences. He parked in the lot and then headed into the store. He dashed directly to the electronics department. He looked at the TVs and then picked out a HDTV with a picture- in-picture feature.

  Kareem had a store clerk radio the stock room to bring out his TV. They waited and Kareem paid for the TV. He liked Walmart because they had a machine that he had to swipe the card and did not have to physically hand the card to the clerk. His transaction was approved and the stock clerk wheeled Kareem’s TV to his car and loaded it. Kareem then hopped into the driver’s seat and pulled off.

  Kareem drove to his house and could not believe his actions. Every time he looked into the rearview mirror, he was reminded of his thievery. To add insult to injury, he had all of his cash. So, I can keep my bread and buy whatever I want with the credit cards. This is the life. I have to add this money to my investment coffer, cause when the chips fall, I need to be up.

  ***

  On his street, Kareem pulled up and all of the neighbors were out and shocked to see him pull up in the Lexis. It was a sight to see. He had the music slightly loud, and people did notice. Look at me bitch.

  Kareem asked Troy to help him take the TV in the house. After they dropped the TV in the living room, Kareem gave Troy $5 and walked him to the door.

  “What’s in the big box?” Jean-Mary asked and then raved, “You bought a new TV with your money?”

  “Sure did. Why not? I needed one because that old black and white needs to go. Let me go and set it up, granny.”

  Kareem jogged up the stairs with a big smile on his face. He was moving up. He looked at the box and called Marquis to describe his day. He wanted to hear about Marquis’, as well. The two were connected on the call and they could hear the energy and excitement in each other’s voices. They were developing a swag that would soon render them “acting Hollywood.”

  “So, did you handle your business today?” Marquis asked. “No doubt. How about you?”

  “Without question.”

  “How much did you get back?”

  “Twelve hundred!” Marquis said with joy.

  “What? Tell me you did not get $1,200?” Kareem said incredulously.

  “I did and I had the dude clerk eating out the palm of my hand.”

  “You just lost me.”

  “The dude that opened my account was more gay than the rainbow, but I played my part and had that fool thinking that I was attracted to him. Remember, do what you have too.”

  “Yeah, I got you. I got $800, but the rep I had gave me her personal cell phone number. Do you think that I can bang her and rob her job?”

  “Didn’t you see, Set It Off? Of course, you can hit that like Jada was hitting dude.”

  “This is crazy. Did you use a credit card?”

  “Yeah, that David Darden jawn. I got Tims, S. Carter’s and a 36-inch TV.”

  “Damn, I should have used a card.”

  “Yeah, that shit was sweet, too. They may ask for ID, though. I got lucky in City Blue.”

  “Yeah, first day luck. We’re getting IDs from school Monday,” Marquis told him.

  “Okay, cool. One more thing. G-mom let me use the Lexis by myself.”

  “Say word.”

  “Word. Word.”

  “Man, maybe we can use that to go to the Sixers game tonight. They’re playing the L
akers.”

  “Hold that thought. Let me work on her and I’ll let you know by five. This is going to be tricky, though.” “No biggie. We can always take the sub.” “Okay, cool. One.”

  “Aiight, my dude. One.”

  The two of them hung up the phone and Kareem was appalled that Marquis had $1,200. He had to top that. He was ready to play a game of who can get the most money. It was Saturday, so he went out and mowed the lawn and thought that he would use that as leverage to use the car to go to the game. He was morphing into a seasoned manipulator and this could be very bad. He walked across the lawn pulling up weeds when he had an epiphany. He walked out of the garden and called Andre.

  Chapter 18

  Two hours passed before Dre arrived at Jean-Mary’s. Jean- Mary and Kareem sat out on the porch as he walked up the street. He was carrying a duffle bag and did not look like he was attending a basketball game. When Dre stepped on the porch, Kareem stood and shook his hands. It was a respectable thing to do for Kareem.

  “So, how’s the King High schooler?” Jean-Mary asked and gave Dre a hug.

  “He’s fine. Glad the year is ending. Next year, my mom plans to move to the ‘burbs and I’ll be going to Kareem’s school.”

  “That’ll be a good look. You can see the celebrity ya little bro is.”

  “Ah man, kill that. I’m in the hood running things,” Dre replied. You ain’t fancy, ‘cause you’re driving dad’s car. Speakin ‘of that, Mama, you’re letting this boy drive to a club?”

  Oh shit, Kareem thought, and the phone rang. Dre had foiled his plan. Jean-Mary had a grin plastered on her face. Why hadn’t Kareem asked her before Dre had arrived there? Better yet, why did he solicit Dre’s help to get the car anyway? It was too late to back track. The caller ID indicated that the brothers dad was on the line. Saved by the jail, Kareem thought.

  Kareem excused his self and retreated into the living room to talk to his dad in privacy. Considering the time of the call, he skipped the small talk and got right down to business. He asked if he could drive the Lexis, after all, it was his car.

  “Dad, I am mature and older now. Mama let me drive to Cheltenham Mall today by myself. But I need some help for her to let me drive to a Sixers game. Remember you used to always take me and Dre to the games? He’s here ready to go too.”

  “Son, I see what God has in store for you, and I like how you’ve been making your moves so far. You’ll be sixteen soon, and I think...”

  Kareem cut him off, “Dad, I drive good and careful. I even used my seat belt. I don’t have to wait the three months.”

  “Let me finish. You’re smart, no, very smart. I have no fear of you getting into any bullshit. All I ask is that you never compromise your freedom for anything and leave my mom out there, son. You’re all she has right now.”

  “Don’t worry dad, I won’t, man. I got this under control at fifthteen, believe that!”

  “Ok, put ya grandmom on.”

  “Aiight, but don’t forget Dre is here. You know how sensitive he is, so be sure to talk to him.”

  Kareem paraded happily to the porch and handed the phone to Jean-Mary. After a five minute conversation full of yeses and nos, she ended the call.

  “He was asking me to put you on Dre, but time ran out,” she said to Dre, and then turned to Kareem. She gave him a stern look, and then said, “I do not know how you do it to me and my son, but he says to let you drive. He went on to say, whenever you need to and I allow it.”

  “Even to the game tonight?” Kareem asked quickly.

  “Yup,” she responded and thought that just yesterday, he was a little boy.

  “So, I guess, I can drive, too?” Dre said and smiled.

  “We will see about that,” Jean-Mary said.

  “That’s better than, no.”

  Kareem was in a daze. Things really looked up. Next year most of his classmates would have cars and it made sense for him to drive to school, as well. He knew that the evil spirits would grab hold of him sooner or later, but he planned to ride the good wave until it calmed.

  Chapter 19

  In the car, driving to Marquis’s house, Kareem wore his new Rocawear sweat suit and S. Carter’s. He had given Dre the other sweat suit. After all, they were both free. He loved that idea. He had new clothes and they were great, but he wanted what was advertised in GQ, and he planned to get it.

  Over G-Unit’s, I Know You Like My Style, Dre said, “Man, I can’t believe mom is moving out the city. The house she got is in Wayne.”

  “Wayne is up there. One of the chicks I kick it with, my homie girl, lives there.”

  “Word on the street you’re moving with us so that Mama doesn’t have to drive up there every day.”

  “That ain’t happening. I still don’t like Eli. I ain’t leaving Mama alone. They can forget that shit there. I will visit a lot and maybe even spend some nights, but I will reside in Philly. They like me, but a lot of my scholarships, academic and sports were destined for a white kid and I swooped in and took them. If you play football, you’ll be in the same position.”

  “So, they’re racist out there? Dre asked and seemed concerned.

  “Naw, fool. But you know how it is. I’m just an academic monster, and working on valedictorian, and they all know it. I am unavoidable, and with a brother there that’ll be crazy.”

  “Damn, this world is crazy.”

  “Yup. Welcome to crazy world.”

  Kareem met Marquis on the corner of 25th and Lehigh, which was near his crib. Kareem thought that perhaps Marquis was embarrassed by his home and didn’t want him to see it. He had nothing to worry about because Kareem’s house was not ready for a magazine spread either. For some reason, people believed Germantown was wealthier than North Philadelphia. Kareem lived there and knew that was not the case. The lower crime rate was the only thing that Kareem could think of. But the media shaped public perception and not Kareem Bezel.

  Marquis jumped into the back seat and Kareem introduced him and Dre. They shook hands and then everyone sat silent as everyone had things on their minds.

  Kareem laid back and pumped a Jada Kiss mix tape. He didn’t know what the other two thought about, but all he thought of was money and how to steal and then hide it. He needed to make use of the social security numbers that he had, but he had no clue what to do. He knew that he could fill out credit card applications, but where would he get the cards sent? He would talk to Marquis about this outside of the company of Dre, because he did not want to ruin his All-American image. Kareem thought that image was everything and he would not compromise his for having loose lips.

  They pulled in front of the Wachovia center and Kareem lowered the music. All eyes were on them. Three hoodlums blasting music about to go watch that Allen Iverson hoodlum in action against the Los Angeles Lakers.

  “Damn, bitches everywhere,” Dre said and smiled.

  Kareem was pissed at the comment and hated the womanizing comment, but to keep the peace, he said, “Yeah, the ladies are out here.”

  “I don’t know why you’re worried about it. They’re all looking at me,” Marquis said.

  “You’ve not been drinking, so why the dumb ass comment?” Kareem asked.

  “I have a proposition,” Dre said and turned down the radio. “Whoever, gets the least amount of numbers tonight owes 50 push-ups, and then next least, 250. And the winner has to do none.” Dre was a varsity football and wrestling player. His body was tight, so he would suggest that. That was an area that Kareem wished to emulate his brother.

  Kareem and Marquis agreed and then the three of them entered the arena.

  ***

  After the game, the three of them jumped into the Lexis. It was 10:30 pm. Kareem could not believe that he was out and driving so late. And he planned to be out later.

  They drove up Broad Street to the Broad Street diner, which was packed with adults headed to the clubs. Kareem parked in the lot and they all headed into the diner. They were seated and began to l
ook at menus. After they ordered, they added up numbers at that point: Dre had six and the other two both had four. Kareem planned to change that. He jumped up from the table and then headed out to the car. He simply wanted the chicks with the window view to see him.

  When he returned to the diner, he approached a chocolate woman that looked about 20 years old. She told him that he had sexy eyes. That was such a cliché because Kareem had always heard that. He was getting bored with that one.

  He thought, you like the eyes on my grandmom’s Lex. On a scale of one to ten, she was a low seven. Her eyes were a bold brown and her breasts sat up high. She had good taste in clothes, but probably lived in a dump. Ghetto people always dressed nicer than their homes. He exchanged numbers with the woman that introduced herself as Quiana. That gave him five numbers, one more than Marquis, but he wanted to beat Dre, who was a natural ladies man like their dad.

  They all ate and left the diner. Afterward, Kareem dropped Marquis off at his house and then drove home. He felt like Marquis had been added as a brother.

  Kareem and Dre entered Jean-Mary’s just after two a.m. and Kareem went straight to bed. He was tired and had not been up that late in a very long time. Dre took the sofa and fell into a deep nod quickly.

  Chapter 20

  Just after noon, Kareem came down stairs in his boxers and found Dre on the sofa starring into space. Jean-Mary was sitting in her recliner listening to music on her old high-five stereo system. It was so old that she was playing an Isley Brothers 8-Track. Kareem could not understand why she refused to just listen to CDs.

  “Put that bird chest back in a cage, Reem,” Dre said and stood. He made his buff chest jump, and then said, “This is the type of body that gets the numbers, so let me get them pushups that you lost last night, homie.”

  “Whatever, dude,” Kareem said and then hit the floor.

  “Yeah, you can be smart and talk all that smack from the floor.”

  Kareem did about 50 pushups as Dre told Jean-Mary all about what the bet was about. Being a realist, and knowing that the two of them were having sex, she encouraged them to have protected sex to avoid teenage pregnancy and STDs.